


One hell of a day

by Phillindashipperalltheway



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coming to Terms with the Past, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillindashipperalltheway/pseuds/Phillindashipperalltheway
Summary: Some things just are unexpected and totally surreal. Some days just are one hell of a day.Audrey is in for one hell of a big surprise when she went out for some coffee and scones after an exhausting reherseal
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Phil Coulson/Melinda May, past Phil Coulson/Audrey Nathan - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 43





	One hell of a day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! After years of reading other stories in this fandom, and at this point I can say that I read them all, and after bothering other writers I decided to give it a shot and write my own fanfiction. I always loved Agents of Shield, and I worship Phillinda in all the ways possible, but I always found it sad that Audrey Nathan only had this brief appearance in season one. I think that Coulson really cared for her, but he doesn't love her in the way he loves Melinda and that he had not so much difficulty to leave her behind because he was happy with where he was and that he was just guessing she would move on. But I think she didn't deserve to be lied to and this is my way to correct that a little.
> 
> All the original characters and story belong to Agents of Shield and ABC, sadly not mine!

One hell of a day

It was one hell of a day- as was to be expected with the rehearsal going over and over again until the very last musician would know when to play and what to do. So it would be nice to go out and have a few non- alcoholic drinks, Audrey thought. And because she spent all day around people who fought with each other and yelled at each other and overall were irritated and tired, she preferred to go out alone. At least for a couple of hours.

Audrey never planned to come back to New York like ever again but life never goes as planned so here she was, in the middle of a rainy autumn evening, wandering the noisy streets of the Big Apple alone. She refused to think back to a time when she walked down the streets with someone hand in hand, enjoying the cold weather because of its promise for a warm cuddle with hot tea in a comfy apartment, strong arms and the nice teasing smell of a handsome man around her. Such thoughts stopped to hurt a long time ago, after all many years had passed by but it brought some nostalgia with it. Maybe it was because of the cold, rainy and heavy weather that brought these thoughts back to the surface and Audrey pushed them out of her mind with all her remaining strength. It wasn't like she was grieving any more, she did that enough, but she simply can't use the nostalgia right now. Instead she concentrated her focus on the upcoming concert while she searched for a nice cafe. 

She found one soon enough. A little, warm looking cafe between an antique bookstore and a perfumery. It was located in a big shopping mall ( Audrey didn`t quite notice she entered it) so she could sit outside and do a little people watch. There always was something fascinating and calming in watching other people do their shoppings and overhear a little of the conversations that floated around her. Like a big, unseen orchestra with instruments that don't quite fit the rhythm but at the same time playing a wonderfully chaotic song with all the noises, steps, laughter and yelling coming together in one big, unidentified music storm. Sometimes loud and overwhelming, sometimes quiet in its tones and floating. Audrey ordered herself an orange tea with sugar and honey and a scone and sat back to relax and watch. There was an older couple holding hands and calmly wandering through the hall, a kid running and babbling to himself while his mother chased after him with her arms full of bags and a few teenagers laughing with their phones out.

A little girl came running down the hall in front of her with her father not far behind “ Alya, please, stop!” he half yelled, half panted. The girl stopped right in front of her little table.  
“Alya, sweetheart, we talked about this. Don't run away, especially not in big halls like this one”, her father chastised his daughter while he slowed down and came closer. The little girl, Alya apparently, looked his way with big, innocent eyes. “ Grandpa told me not to go with strangers and Grandma said she will teach me how to punsh them properly so don`t worry daddy” The man sighed “ Of course he told you that and of course May said that but that doesn't change what we talked about running away” Now, that the man was standing practically in front of her nose, she could take a closer look at him and she involuntary gasped. She knew that man! But, when she met him all those years back, he was more like a boy. A shy, scrawny, nervous boy but with intelligent bright eyes. Audrey needed a second to comprehend that the boy back then was now standing in front of her as a confident looking, grown man who slightly scolded his daughter for just running away. 

“Agent Fitz?” the words were out of her mouth before her shocked thoughts were coming to an end. The man looked up from his daughter and she could see that he was beyond surprised to hear his name. His searching gaze stopped upon her and he was apparently struggling to remember her. She stood up and held out her hand “Audrey. Audrey Nathan. Remember, you and your teammates helped me all those years ago when I was …” she stopped and briefly looked at the little girl. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to mention her rescue from a mad psychopath with superpowers when little kids were around or people at all for that matter. But Agent Fitz`s eyes had grown wide and he shook her hand with a firm and strong handshake. “ Of course”, he smiled a little. Was that smile a little too tight? Surely she just imagined things “ Miss Nathan. I never thought I would see you again. But you look fine” Audrey grinned and nodded “ I am feeling fine, thank you. And the same goes for me. I never expected to see you again, too and with an adorable little daughter no less!” 

That seemed to change his entire mood. “ Yeah, this little monkey surely is a delight. My wife and I are very happy if not a little drained from all the running” Audrey nodded in understanding and then she asked with a light smile “ Your wife? May I assume that would be Agent Simmons?” Agent Fitz blushed “Well, apparently everyone just assumed that but us. But we are still better than some couples' ' For some reasons Audrey got the feeling that Agent Fitz was just telling an inside joke which wasn't even meant for her ears. “Oh and we aren't Agents anymore just Doctor and Doctor” 

Audrey opened her mouth to congratulate the young man but was interrupted by another voice that joined their little pleasantries. “ Fitz!” As if on cue Agent or Dr. Simmons appeared behind her husband and looked at her little family with knitted eyebrows “What takes you so long? You know we can`t keep Phil and Melinda waiting too long, we only have one car and …” Dr. Simmons stopped mid sentence and stared at Audrey. Audrey held out her hand again for her to shake and was only a little surprised when the receiving handshake was also firm and strong. “Miss Nathan” Dr. Simmons said with a much stronger and clearer voice than Audrey remembered from back then “ What a surprise”  
“I can only repeat that” Jemma Simmons too had undergone the change from a shy, for some reasons always guilty looking girl to a grown, pretty woman. Her whole posture radiated confidence and brilliance. Audrey struggled to make the connection to her former nervous self all those years back.

“ I was just about to congratulate your husband here for your sweet little girl” 

Dr. Simmons smiled. “ Yeah, she surely is a delight if not a little fast” she almost repeats the words from her husband earlier. “But we really need to go …” again they were interrupted, this time from a beautiful asian woman who appeared seemingly from nowhere next to Dr. Simmons 

“Jemma, Fitz, do you have to bake the cookies yourselfs? Phil keeps complaining about the rush hour” Alya`s eyes brightened at the sight of the woman “ Grandma!” she shrieked

“I was looking for you. It was boring at the bakery so I wanted to go with you and Grandpa but Daddy says I cannot leave alone but I told him you promised me to punsh …” the little girl babbled on and the woman just smiled softly at her while she took her off the ground and in her arms. The girl laughed and snuggled into her neck contendly. “ Well” Dr. Simmons kept on after a brief pause “You can see, we have to go'' 

Audrey got the uneasy feeling that Dr. Simmons wanted to leave as soon as possible. Like she feared something uncomfortable would happen if they stayed any minute longer. Audrey found this behaviour slightly strange if not a little rude, after all there was nothing wrong with meeting and chatting with people who saved your life, wasn't it? But before Audrey could focus on this behaviour any deeper, a fourth voice joined them. 

A voice that was all too familiar and Audrey fought she would never hear the sound of this deep, soothe baritone ever again.

“ Guys, here you are! I just had Daisy on the phone and she told me that she can`t keep Daniel and Kora entertained any longer without food and that Mack and Yoyo are on their way and I quote `Don't let me regret that I let you eat the last beagle` which is ridiculous because …”  
“Phil”, the asian woman interrupted him gently “Yes, honey?” Phil, her Phil Coulson in flesh and blood, looked at the woman with a smile that rivalled the bright lights in the hall and a look on his face like he just found something incredible precious. 

And Audrey couldn't do anything except stare. She just stood there and stared. It was like everything around her halted to a sudden stop and faded away and every noise was droned out until she was feeling like she was pulled under water and everything just turned numb.

It's funny how someone thinks when under shock. A billion thoughts run through Audrey`s mind all at one second, thoughts like I am simply dreaming and I am just stressed to my limit with the upcoming concert, I am hallucinating, Some crazy stalker is after me again and playing tricks with my mind, That simply cannot happen right now, why I am imagining things- all these and a million more run at speedlight through her head and yet, what came out of her mouth was “ You aren't a ghost, are you?” in a surprisingly steady voice. Phil stood there and stared, much like her. 

The silence stretched into minutes, at least it was feeling like minutes, it could also be mere seconds but after these words stumbled out of her mouth Audrey couldn`t say anything more.  
Eventually Phil cleared his throat and his face turned into somewhat remorseful and guilty “No”, he gently said “ I am definitely not a ghost”  
“Yeah, that was ruled out”, mumbled Dr. Fitz but Audrey recognized his voice like she was hearing every other sound through water.

She continued to stare at the not so dead man before her. She noticed slight changes on him since she last saw him. He looked older and a little bit more rugged but otherwise just as handsome as she remembered him if not more so.

His sharp cut jaw was freshly shaved and the lines around his eyes seemed deeper, his hair was shorter but looked as soft as ever.  
He didn't wore a suit which was a new look for her, he was simply dressed in dark jeans and a blue button up shirt which shows off his broad chest and flat stomach and nice shoulders,his sleeves rolled up to his elbows which showcast his strong and lovely forearms and his eyes were that clear wonderful blue she missed so much many years ago.

It was that recognition which brought her back to earth `many years ago`. Because it was exactly that: Many years ago. Which did not lessen the shock or the hurt she was feeling right now but it lowered the impact of the whole situation. And it made her thoughts a bit clearer. Clear enough to feel something specific and that was anger. How could she not be angry?  
Angry of what exactly she couldn`t name, maybe the fact that the man she once loved and grieved so deeply for wasn`t dead at all or that the people she thought rescued her and considered at least her allies if not quite friends were lying to her and, more importantly the man she was together with, slept with, lived with, the man she loved and wished a life with was lying to her, apparently? 

That he was walking down the mall like nothing happened? She wasn't so sure at the moment as to what or whom to refer her anger at but it had to go out somewhere. 

So she turned to the two doctors and raised a finger accusingly “ You knew?”, she asked. Both adults looked uncomfortable and like they wanted the floor to open up and swallow them whole. Dr. Simmons looked at Phil “Well, I mean, at that time we didn't know. I mean, we didn't know that you two were together”  
“Yeah, that came as a surprise. I wouldn't have guessed Coulson dated anybody, what with his boring suits and ties and …” Dr. Simmons nudged him, hard, in the side “ Fitz!”, she hissed. 

Her husband ignored her and just continued “ I mean, there was this one incident with the hole in the plane where we all almost died and later the dragon lady but at that time he stopped wearing his suits, probably had to do something with his hand, I wouldn't know because I was, you know, busy searching you and than …”  
“Fitz, just shut up” the mysterious woman at Phil's side said in a sharp tone and immediately the babbling stopped.  
Dr. Fitz slumped his shoulders and looked at his shoes 

“ Sorry”, he mumbled “ but you know how I ramble when I am nervous. Guess some things never change ``  
''Point is, we are so sorry” Dr. Simmons took over for her husband “Like really sorry” 

She looked helplessly at the older woman who had a blank expression on her face. For the first time Audrey really took notice of her. She didn't know why she hadn't seen her properly at first but now, for some reasons she couldn't explain, her subconscious told her to take her in.

The woman before her clearly was asian, with long, black, silken hair which fell loosely over her shoulders and framed a beautiful face with perfectly even features. Her stature was small but she radiated strength and confidence and overall a deep wisdom.  
It was the way Phil looked at her that tipped her off of who she was but she couldn't be sure.

So she asked in a slightly aggressive manner which she totally didn't mean to “Who are you? You weren't with the rest of the team back then when they came after Daniels, were you?” In hindsight that was a totally senseless question, but at that moment everything seemed to make no sense and Audrey didn't care at all.

“No, I wasn`t”, the woman replied calmly “But I know you and I was about to join the rescue team but then …” 

Phil interrupted her “ How often do I need to apologize? How could have I known that you...” The woman shot him a look and Phil pressed his lips together  
“That wasn't what I was about to say” she continued “Anyway I am Melinda”

“My Grandma!” the little girl in her arms joyfully explained. Everyone turned to look at her and it was like she was forgotten until this point. And before anyone could intervene, the girl continued in this way only an innocent little child could with saying the things no adult would freely speak out “And this is my Grandpa Phil. They share a bed and kiss like my parents do but that is okay because they are wife and …” 

“Okay, little monkey, you really earned a cookie” her father, Dr. Fitz jumped in. He held out his arms and the woman, Melinda, carefully placed her into her father's arms. “Well, we … Well, there are things that we need to attend to” Dr. Simmons weakly waved her hands around and flashed her a small, embarrassed smile. Without another word the two Doctors and their little child rushed off.

She turned her gaze back at Phil who shifted seemingly nervously from one foot to the other while the woman calmly stood by his side.

“ You are not dead”, Audrey said. There were hundreds of things to say but she couldn't decide what to attend first. And the “Not dead thing” seemed to be the most obvious one at hand. Phil nodded and then gazed up to meet her eyes. 

His blue eyes held so much intensity and guilt that she couldn't afford to look away or to spit all the angry words out that were running through her mind “ I am so, so sorry. Really. I know that doesn't change anything or make it less hurt but please believe that I really am” he whispered barely loud enough for her to hear. And all of a sudden, her anger faded away. What remained was a slight hurt but foremost it was confusion. Nothing more or less, just curiosity.

“Why didn't you say anything?” she asked in no angry or aggressive tone. She just wanted to know.  
Phil looked tired. “ I couldn't. I really couldn't. For an entire year I was in a coma and then Fury ordered me to stay silent. And for a long time I didn't know for myself what exactly had happened with me. It drove me crazy” he sighed “Like really crazy. I began to lose my mind. And then Shield fell and the majority of the people I thought were my colleagues and friends turned out to be traitors and Nazis and everything went to hell” at the end his voice turned bitter. 

Audrey remembered the days that followed the news of the fall of the world's biggest and most modern government secret agency. She remembered that she thought that maybe it was good that Phil wasn't around to see all these terrible things happen in the agency he dedicated his life to, that it would have broken his heart. Guess she was wrong with that.

Phil`s gentle voice pulled her out of her musings “I hoped you would move on with your life. That you would get over me and would be safe and happy like you deserve. My life was too unpredictable and dangerous and I had nothing to offer you besides my own pain and doubts. And believe me, at that time I had more than enough of that and you are a wonderful woman, Audrey and you deserve someone who can afford all the things I could never”

Leave it to Phil Coulson to always find the right words in the most awkwards situations.

And the thing is, he was right. Yes, Audrey grieved for him. Terribly so. For weeks she wasn't able to even leave her bed. let alone to go out or to her rehearsals. She grieved for the wonderful, handsome man with the kind heart she loved and imagined a life with- maybe even a family but yes, that ebbed away. She got over it and moved on. The years passed by and she began to live her life again. She even found a really nice, gentle man she fell in love with and hoped for a future with. She could love again and she was happy. She was planning her future with her man and suspected that a proposal wasn't far away.

All these things were running through her mind and she found herself relieved. Relieved that she could finally admit it to herself: The past was in the past. The future lays before her, bright and promising with an ever blooming career she was very proud of and a loving, supporting man she hoped to marry one day soon. And just like that all the hard feelings since meeting Phil again, disappeared. 

“ I couldn't say that I understand all the things or even know what you are talking about, but it seems like we both moved on” she said and really smiled for the first time. After all, it was years! In a neutral way it was like meeting your ex with his wife except for the “Walking Dead” thing. Phil carefully returned her smile and then briefly looked at the woman at his side. It only was a second his gaze lingered on her but in this second his eyes held so much love and warmth and adoration like a man who was seeing the sun for the very first time and the last bit of Audrey`s doubt faded away. She knew Phil cared for her very much but she also knew that he never once looked at her the way he was looking at this woman. And that didn't hurt like she would have suspected it would but then again, he wasn't hers anymore (and for a brief moment she wondered if he ever was) and she was at a very different point in her life now.  
“ Yeah, I guess so” he grinned slightly. “And don't be angry at Fitzsimmons. At that time I was their boss and didn't told them anything about me”

Audrey shook her head “It's okay. To be honest I am not sure where that came from. I mean, when I first met them they simply were …” Audrey stopped, not sure how to continue this sentence without insulting the two doctors, who, after all, saved her.

“ Children” Melinda helpfully ended her sentence. Audrey nodded lightly. Phil`s grin went proud. “ They surely came a long way” 

“So did you, it seems. You are a grandfather”

Phil chuckled “I am. They were with me from the beginning and saved me countless times. And I saved them a few times. That's a thing in Shield, I guess. Melinda here I have known for decades and she saved my sorry ass more than I can count and Daisy, my other daughter, she teached me how to be a father and saved me in more than one way. So yeah, I guess, saving is like your must-have-ticket in Shield. But the good thing is, I am retired now so the constant saving came to an end. I mean, the constantly life saving thing. The other week Melinda saved me from a really big spider, not that I needed that” he shrugged and Melinda rolled her eyes and mumbled “Dork” but the look she gave him was loving.

“You are retired?” Audrey asked. Phil nodded solemnly “It wasn't easy, trust me but in the end I came to the conclusion that I gave enough to Shield and that they can continue without me. I left the organization in very capable hands” 

Audrey nodded thoughtfully “ Wait, does that mean you lead them? I didn't know that Shield exist anymore”

Phil tilted his head slightly to the right and smiled in a wistful way

“Well, yeah at some point I was left with the leadership of the remaining pieces. Not the way I imagined I would become the director but it worked all out in the end. And before Shield fell, very few people from the outside had known that we existed and it worked well. So why change that?”

Audrey nodded. It did make sense. That Phil led a broken organization in full glory again, after all he was made to protect. 

She smiled again. “Phil”, she said warmly “That surely was quite the surprise. To meet you again, I mean. But now I have to go. Tomorrow I have a big concert and the maestro might kill me if I happen to be tired” 

Phil arched an eyebrow “Shall I talk to him?” Audrey laughed.

“No, not at all” She crossed the few meters between them and hugged him tightly. His returning hug was warm and firm and felt right. When she released him, she turned to Melinda, his wife apparently ( and a quick glance at their hands sealed it- both had wedding rings on their left hands) and offered her her hand. Melinda took it and her handshake was firm and warm and friendly.

“Well, now that you aren't so dead anymore, why don't you come to my concerts now and then? “  
Phil`s smile was warm and bright “Maybe I will. Our children surely would love to hear you play” Melinda nodded along with him, a light smile on her full red lips “Especially our soon to be son in law” she remarked. Phil cringed a little bit but his smile stayed in place.

Audrey waved at them one last time and then went to leave. It was feeling like a big tissue of her heart was healed and she was strangely feeling free and lighter.

But it was one hell of a day.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was my first attempt at fanfiction. Please tell me what you think. And if you happen to stumble on mistakes, grammarly or language related, then please let me know!  
> If you like to leave a comment in private or chat up with me, then please contact me on Tumblr under firebolteiche20


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